There comes a time, to us all, when we finally have to accept that things are over and we have to let go in order to move on. Whether this be the death of someone, the end of a relationship or something else, there are always those feelings of sadness and a sense of grieving.
In 2005 I ended a 12 year relationship. It's taken me nearly 5 years and 2 further relationships to get over it properly. 5 years!
It was the break-up of one of those 'further relationships' in 2007 that prompted me to write 'The Long Goodbye'. Having done nothing musically for 10 years, I bought a cheap acoustic guitar from a charity shop and learned some chords. I'd always been a bass guitarist up til then. Tunes started to come out of the guitar, first, 'Where Do We Go From Here' as I sat in the bedroom, ruminating on the doubts surfacing in my relationship and then, on a lovely sunny afternoon at my folks' garden, 'Maybe Tonight'. More followed and I decided I'd better record them. I purchased a 16 track digital recorder and through August and September 2007 me and Ju (my bro) spent many a long hour, meticulously recording and re-recording take after take of guitar parts, keyboard parts, vocals, harmonies as well as programming drum patterns, working out how to add effects and how to mix all the tracks into a listenable left and right stereo track.
The mixing took even longer than the recordings themselves. I did the whole lot on headphones which, I soon found, didn't sound anywhere near as good when I played them back on my hi-fi. So, further mixes were done, adjusting EQ and the like until I was happy with the sound on a variety of sources. When I played it to people they all liked it. One friend said it was the album of the year!
In 2008 The Long Goodbye was available as a digital download. But then I broke up with someone else (yes, another one!) and as the guy who ran my website at the time knew the girl we kinda lost touch and eventually it was taken down. Me and Ju started doing a few 'open mics' in Bury St. Eds but it wasn't until a chance meeting with Brett Alexander Robertson in Caffe Nero in October that things started to move forward with apace. Brett too had had 10 years without music. He'd had plenty of offers from bands wanting him to play drums for them but nothing gripped him enough to want to get back into the music scene. As chance would have it, I had a copy of 'The Long Goodbye' in my 'man-bag'. Brett loved it as soon as he heard it, remastered it, designed The Lullabys website and put the 'demo' tracks of the album on-line as streaming media files.
This summer I re-mixed many of the tracks and after a final re-mastering - and adding a new, previously unreleased track - you can download your copy from iTunes now! If you want to get your hands on an actual CD we will have the first ones off the press at our gig at the Arc in Bury on Thursday 19th November. It's late night shopping in the town so treat yourself or your partner to the CD. 11 lullabys for grown-ups about love, loss and hope, written during times of great uncertainty, upheaval and insecurity. Stuff we've all had to go through. That's the hard sell over. Not my style. If you like the songs you'll want to buy it or get a copy for a friend in need of some soothing.
Truth be told, it's been quite a dilemma, putting the album out there again. Alot has changed since the recording of it. On the album (as on the 'Maybe Tonight' EP) you will hear electric guitars, drums, keyboards, strings, the lot; a full band sound. Now, when we play live we strip it right back to basics. Listen to Nivana's studio albums and compare it to their 'unplugged'. Great songs with distorted or acoustic guitars. So, the dilemma I had as an artist and songwriter was 'can I put this album out even though we now sound different?'
The fact of the matter is that the songs need to be out there! They have to be given life, some airplay, before I can finally lay them to rest. Indeed, if the album remained un-released, sitting on my shelf gathering dust or like a skeleton in the closet, haunting me forever, it would seem as though all the creative efforts of the last 2 years had gone to waste. A potential lost masterpiece? Surely not just a personal catharsis, but something to be shared with others?
So, as we approach the end of 2009 and with the release of the newly remixed 'The Long Goodbye' it seems time to let go. Time to move on. You can listen to the tunes, play them, sing along, tap your fingers, let the melodies bounce around in your head and wake you in the morning like an internal alarm clock or a bad dream because I have to share them, let them go...release them from the grip they have had over me since 2007. Sure, The Lullabys will still play these songs live, in our raw, stripped back fashion - and new venues and fresh ears need to hear them! - but there is a new horizon ahead of us. Already 5 new songs have been written for a follow-up album. You might have heard some of these at our gigs. The other tracks are being worked on right now. But that's 2010 and beyond. We must live for now...live for today...and this very moment.
Enjoy 'The Long Goodbye'. 2010 promises to be very exciting. That's optimism for you. And that is a feeling that only comes when you are finally turning the corner and letting go of the past. Things can be good again. They can be bloody great! If only we dare to dream...
Til next time live, love, learn and laugh at yourself!
Lullaby Gav
Download 'The Long Goodbye' from iTunes via our website http://www.thelullabys.com/
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
...on motivation, energy and passion!
Hey! How's it going?
I was speaking to my partner today and we were discussing motivation, i.e. how to get motivated to do things etc.
Just what is it exactly that drives a person to to things, to achieve? What makes you even get out of bed in the morning? Do you wake up with energy and excitement and can't wait to 'seize the day' or do you drag yourself out of bed, obligated to spend another boring day stuck at work in a job which means nothing more than a way of paying the bills?
What is it that is driving me now to write this at such an hour (ten past midnight)?
And as our conversation progressed we discussed passion and purpose. If you are passionate about what you do you obviously feel more motivated to do it. Like putting coal on the fire; energy creates more energy.
I'm writing this 'cos I feel compelled to get these ideas down on paper.
We all need meaning in our lives. We all need direction. We all need to find and then follow our purpose.
When I met Lullabys percussionist, Brett, he told me he was bored and in a rut. Now, nearly a year on from our meeting and with the band going from strength to strength, Brett has rediscovered his passion for music. He is riding high. His life has meaning again.
So what comes first? Do we first need to somehow summon the energy to take action or does the energy come from following our passions?
It alarms me sometimes when I ask a therapy client, 'What are your hobbies, what are you passionate about?' and they say 'I don't know' or, even worse, 'nothing'!
What did you love doing as a kid? What did you want to be when you grew up? What gets your juices flowing?! What do you do to absorb yourself or lose yourself in for at least an hour a week?
For me it's mostly music. Music has been my saviour! It got me through the darkest hours of relationship break-ups. A good book can also entrance me for hours on end. A walk in the countryside or along a beach. Sitting by a lake or pond.
Do you allow yourself time to BE STILL?
As well as the need for purpose and meaning, us humans need to take time out and relax - everyday! Even just 5 minutes can be hugely beneficial. But of course, most of us lead such hectic lives that we overide the body's need to unwind. This can lead to symptoms of stress, affecting our sleep patterns and energy levels.
So, we're back to energy and motivation.
in 2001 I started training to be a hypnotherapist. I clearly remember studying in my back garden, KNOWING I would succeed. I didn't have to try. It was as if destiny was taking over. I was following my purpose - my passion. I'd always been fascinated by the mind and psychological stuff. I studied meditation and yoga for years, recorded my dreams in journals, studied Buddhism, became a hermit with a very long beard!! When hypnotherapy helped change my life I knew beyond any doubt that I had to learn how to also help others through the power of hypnosis.
When you've suffered with a problem for 10 years and hospital specialists can't help you - but then a hypnotherapist cures the problem in 2 hours - you want to find out how!
So, I was driven by a very strong desire and personal experience. Unlike students who end up in a profession 'cos their parents say they 'should do it' (or who are driven by money) my heart was fully involved in the process. AND THIS IS WHERE WE ALL NEED TO USE OUR EMOTIONS INTELLIGENTLY! We need to get emotional about something!! It is our emotions and feelings that drive us to do anything. Question - why do you want what you want? Answer - because having it will make you feel good! A person doesn't drive around in a sports car for no reason. It's because it makes them feel good (or, at least feeds their ego's need for recognition and attention - which is another normal human emotional need). Why are we all so prone to addictive habits and behaviours? Because, to begin with, they make us feel better (until, of course, the addiction takes over and you then do it just to stave off the withdrawal symptoms).
In a nutshell, if we can get genuine highs we don't need false highs. If you have meaning, purpose, if your emotional needs are met (more on this in another post) you will have the energy to motivate yourself to TAKE ACTION! You'll do it because you love it! That's why I'm writing this now, knowing that only a handful of people will actually read it (you know who you are; thanks for taking the time). I WRITE, I READ, I PLAY MUSIC, I 'THERAPISE', I WALK, I SING, I MEDITATE, I LAUGH, I JOKE, I CRY, I HUG, I MAKE LOVE - ALL WITH PASSION!!!!
I cannot live my life any other way. Even when I am sad it is with a passion! I might come across as quiet, shy, introverted, even melancholic - especially that - ('cos that's part of my personality) but inside I am full of desire. A desire to live life to the max. To embrace the highs and lows. As a famous German philosopher once said, "Whatever you can do, or think you can - begin it! Boldness has genius and power and magic in it!"
So, what can you do today to embody that phrase? Where can you take a risk, a leap of faith that could make all the difference? Where in your life do you need to be bold and courageous? It might just be that in so doing you find your energy and motivation and rediscover your life's purpose. THEN PUT YOUR PASSION INTO IT!
Enough, I hear you say.
I know; you have a busy life and must get on.
Thanks if you made it this far.
N.B. You can watch passion in action this coming saturday (Sept 19th)!!! At 2PM in the Arc Shopping Centre, Bury St. Edmunds, my band, The Lullabys will be playing on the back of a truck, raising money for charity. Then, 'cos we love it so much, we're playing again in the evening.
More info at http://www.thelullabys.com.
Hope to see you there!
Til next time...
Lullaby Gav
I was speaking to my partner today and we were discussing motivation, i.e. how to get motivated to do things etc.
Just what is it exactly that drives a person to to things, to achieve? What makes you even get out of bed in the morning? Do you wake up with energy and excitement and can't wait to 'seize the day' or do you drag yourself out of bed, obligated to spend another boring day stuck at work in a job which means nothing more than a way of paying the bills?
What is it that is driving me now to write this at such an hour (ten past midnight)?
And as our conversation progressed we discussed passion and purpose. If you are passionate about what you do you obviously feel more motivated to do it. Like putting coal on the fire; energy creates more energy.
I'm writing this 'cos I feel compelled to get these ideas down on paper.
We all need meaning in our lives. We all need direction. We all need to find and then follow our purpose.
When I met Lullabys percussionist, Brett, he told me he was bored and in a rut. Now, nearly a year on from our meeting and with the band going from strength to strength, Brett has rediscovered his passion for music. He is riding high. His life has meaning again.
So what comes first? Do we first need to somehow summon the energy to take action or does the energy come from following our passions?
It alarms me sometimes when I ask a therapy client, 'What are your hobbies, what are you passionate about?' and they say 'I don't know' or, even worse, 'nothing'!
What did you love doing as a kid? What did you want to be when you grew up? What gets your juices flowing?! What do you do to absorb yourself or lose yourself in for at least an hour a week?
For me it's mostly music. Music has been my saviour! It got me through the darkest hours of relationship break-ups. A good book can also entrance me for hours on end. A walk in the countryside or along a beach. Sitting by a lake or pond.
Do you allow yourself time to BE STILL?
As well as the need for purpose and meaning, us humans need to take time out and relax - everyday! Even just 5 minutes can be hugely beneficial. But of course, most of us lead such hectic lives that we overide the body's need to unwind. This can lead to symptoms of stress, affecting our sleep patterns and energy levels.
So, we're back to energy and motivation.
in 2001 I started training to be a hypnotherapist. I clearly remember studying in my back garden, KNOWING I would succeed. I didn't have to try. It was as if destiny was taking over. I was following my purpose - my passion. I'd always been fascinated by the mind and psychological stuff. I studied meditation and yoga for years, recorded my dreams in journals, studied Buddhism, became a hermit with a very long beard!! When hypnotherapy helped change my life I knew beyond any doubt that I had to learn how to also help others through the power of hypnosis.
When you've suffered with a problem for 10 years and hospital specialists can't help you - but then a hypnotherapist cures the problem in 2 hours - you want to find out how!
So, I was driven by a very strong desire and personal experience. Unlike students who end up in a profession 'cos their parents say they 'should do it' (or who are driven by money) my heart was fully involved in the process. AND THIS IS WHERE WE ALL NEED TO USE OUR EMOTIONS INTELLIGENTLY! We need to get emotional about something!! It is our emotions and feelings that drive us to do anything. Question - why do you want what you want? Answer - because having it will make you feel good! A person doesn't drive around in a sports car for no reason. It's because it makes them feel good (or, at least feeds their ego's need for recognition and attention - which is another normal human emotional need). Why are we all so prone to addictive habits and behaviours? Because, to begin with, they make us feel better (until, of course, the addiction takes over and you then do it just to stave off the withdrawal symptoms).
In a nutshell, if we can get genuine highs we don't need false highs. If you have meaning, purpose, if your emotional needs are met (more on this in another post) you will have the energy to motivate yourself to TAKE ACTION! You'll do it because you love it! That's why I'm writing this now, knowing that only a handful of people will actually read it (you know who you are; thanks for taking the time). I WRITE, I READ, I PLAY MUSIC, I 'THERAPISE', I WALK, I SING, I MEDITATE, I LAUGH, I JOKE, I CRY, I HUG, I MAKE LOVE - ALL WITH PASSION!!!!
I cannot live my life any other way. Even when I am sad it is with a passion! I might come across as quiet, shy, introverted, even melancholic - especially that - ('cos that's part of my personality) but inside I am full of desire. A desire to live life to the max. To embrace the highs and lows. As a famous German philosopher once said, "Whatever you can do, or think you can - begin it! Boldness has genius and power and magic in it!"
So, what can you do today to embody that phrase? Where can you take a risk, a leap of faith that could make all the difference? Where in your life do you need to be bold and courageous? It might just be that in so doing you find your energy and motivation and rediscover your life's purpose. THEN PUT YOUR PASSION INTO IT!
Enough, I hear you say.
I know; you have a busy life and must get on.
Thanks if you made it this far.
N.B. You can watch passion in action this coming saturday (Sept 19th)!!! At 2PM in the Arc Shopping Centre, Bury St. Edmunds, my band, The Lullabys will be playing on the back of a truck, raising money for charity. Then, 'cos we love it so much, we're playing again in the evening.
More info at http://www.thelullabys.com.
Hope to see you there!
Til next time...
Lullaby Gav
Thursday, 20 August 2009
...on creating a monster
Hey, how's it going, all you Lullabys fans?
We have created a monster!
The other day me, Brett and two other important 'Lullabys people' had a meeting. It was business talk. This is where things are getting serious! No longer is my music a little hobby that thwarts my melancholia and mends my oft-broken heart. There, there dear!
I feel anxious about giving up control! Not that I am a control freak or anything. I've always wanted it to be heard; always knew it was good enough to be out there for the masses to listen to (especially when you listen to the crap they play on the wireless these days). It's just that my songs, being so personal and meaningful to me, are hard to let go of. Hard to release. They belong to me!!!
The thing is, I always wanted this to happen, always wanted people to get interested in my 'art'. I loved it as a kid when a painting I'd done was hung up in assembly and I stood up, all proud and noble when the Headmaster announced I'd done it. I remember it clearly to this day. I shot up out of my chair like a jack-in-the box, so keen was I for recognition.
And maybe that is the bottom line? The thing that's still driving me?
But I know what's good and worthy.
With your help as a fan (and with the help of the Lullabys entourage) THE TIME IS FAST APPROACHING!
The snowball effect is kicking in. The first domino has been pushed...they are all falling into place, creating this amazing pattern which I simply have to let happen. And why wouldn't I?
DO YOU EVER WONDER IF YOU SABOTAGE YOURSELF?
I am a natural cynic and have a tendancy to over-analyse and question things.
Could I really sell my music? Could I really get a publishing deal? Could my dream come true, after years of failure? Or am I destined to always be a 'nearly man' - talented, but not quite good enough? Do you ask yourself the same things?
WELL FUCK THAT!
I am through with negative defeatism!
NOW IS THE TIME TO PUSH AHEAD!
What's stopping you doing the same, other than your own fear of failure? Or is it a fear of success? When the astronauts returned from the moon, many of them became severely depressed. When you've been to the moon, what else is there to strive for?
So, maybe you and I do subconsciously sabotage ourselves because if we achieve our goals, what next?
And this is one of the reasons I got drawn to Buddhism and especially the law of non-attachment. There is a Buddhist saying that says, "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." In other words, nothing really changes on an outward level - except your own attitude. And as we know, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! Although having goals in life is good (and healthy) we need to relinquish our dependance on their outcomes, the mentality that says, "...oh, if I don't get good grades I'll never be any good at anything", or, "If I don't hit my sales target this month the boss will have it in for me and I'll feel humiliated and a complete failure."
BE VERY WARY OF BLACK AND WHITE/ ALL OR NOTHING THINKING. It's driven by your emotional brain that's often working from old, out-dated patterns. If we attain our goals, then great. If not, it's still great! You are still alive! What's most important is the ability to ENJOY THE JOURNEY, NOT JUST THE DESTINATION.
And thus, with this 'out of control Lullabys Monster' I just have to let it roam wherever it wants to go and see where it leads me. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the uncertainties. What's around your next corner? Thank God life is full of mystery and surprises.
Indeed, one clear sign of good mental health is the ability to tolerate life's uncertainties? This is something I teach my clients. And it is easier said than done.
Listen to all my songs! They are all hinged on jealousy, insecurity, doubts, not-knowing. It's through my music that I have come to tolerate all these difficult emotions. It has been my healer. There is still some way to go! Good job too, because without suffering where would the Lullabys be? Could you imagine me singing a happy little pop tune like McFly?
The day my heart mends is the day I hang up my guitar!
So bring on the pain and suffering! I must be a masochist!
Do I unconsciously seek it out? Do we all?
Now there's a question?
In truth, I believe we do. You see, us humans go through some pretty tough times in our early years. Ok, not everyone suffers traumas and the like, but how many of us didn't get the attention we felt we needed as kids? How many of us have had embarrassing or even humiliating incidents to have to deal with? What about issues with parents/ siblings that have never been resolved? And this is my point and what Freud would call 'repetition compulsion'. WE UNCONSCIOUSLY CREATE ISSUES/PROBLEMS/SCENARIOS THAT ECHO UNRESOLVED STUFF FROM THE PAST SO THAT WE CAN NOW DEAL WITH IT. In other words, we 'create' situations and relationships that in some way mirror issues from childhood in the hope that we will now, hopefully, resolve the situation and move on. Once the lesson is learnt you can move on to the next dilemma. And believe me, there will be more! But that's how we grow as humans, by solving problems!
EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY! EMBRACE SUFFERING! EMBRACE PROBLEMS!
As The Killers would say, "Everything will be alright..."
Believe it to be so.
That's enough of my psychobabble. Hope it got ya thinking.
The next Lullabys newsletter will be out soon, so if you're not yet a fan register at http://www.thelullabys.com/ and get the latest news. We're about to launch our first single and are preparing for 2 BIG GIGS in 1 day!
Stay in touch and share your thoughts and feelings.
We're all in this together!
Lullaby Gav
We have created a monster!
The other day me, Brett and two other important 'Lullabys people' had a meeting. It was business talk. This is where things are getting serious! No longer is my music a little hobby that thwarts my melancholia and mends my oft-broken heart. There, there dear!
I feel anxious about giving up control! Not that I am a control freak or anything. I've always wanted it to be heard; always knew it was good enough to be out there for the masses to listen to (especially when you listen to the crap they play on the wireless these days). It's just that my songs, being so personal and meaningful to me, are hard to let go of. Hard to release. They belong to me!!!
The thing is, I always wanted this to happen, always wanted people to get interested in my 'art'. I loved it as a kid when a painting I'd done was hung up in assembly and I stood up, all proud and noble when the Headmaster announced I'd done it. I remember it clearly to this day. I shot up out of my chair like a jack-in-the box, so keen was I for recognition.
And maybe that is the bottom line? The thing that's still driving me?
But I know what's good and worthy.
With your help as a fan (and with the help of the Lullabys entourage) THE TIME IS FAST APPROACHING!
The snowball effect is kicking in. The first domino has been pushed...they are all falling into place, creating this amazing pattern which I simply have to let happen. And why wouldn't I?
DO YOU EVER WONDER IF YOU SABOTAGE YOURSELF?
I am a natural cynic and have a tendancy to over-analyse and question things.
Could I really sell my music? Could I really get a publishing deal? Could my dream come true, after years of failure? Or am I destined to always be a 'nearly man' - talented, but not quite good enough? Do you ask yourself the same things?
WELL FUCK THAT!
I am through with negative defeatism!
NOW IS THE TIME TO PUSH AHEAD!
What's stopping you doing the same, other than your own fear of failure? Or is it a fear of success? When the astronauts returned from the moon, many of them became severely depressed. When you've been to the moon, what else is there to strive for?
So, maybe you and I do subconsciously sabotage ourselves because if we achieve our goals, what next?
And this is one of the reasons I got drawn to Buddhism and especially the law of non-attachment. There is a Buddhist saying that says, "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." In other words, nothing really changes on an outward level - except your own attitude. And as we know, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! Although having goals in life is good (and healthy) we need to relinquish our dependance on their outcomes, the mentality that says, "...oh, if I don't get good grades I'll never be any good at anything", or, "If I don't hit my sales target this month the boss will have it in for me and I'll feel humiliated and a complete failure."
BE VERY WARY OF BLACK AND WHITE/ ALL OR NOTHING THINKING. It's driven by your emotional brain that's often working from old, out-dated patterns. If we attain our goals, then great. If not, it's still great! You are still alive! What's most important is the ability to ENJOY THE JOURNEY, NOT JUST THE DESTINATION.
And thus, with this 'out of control Lullabys Monster' I just have to let it roam wherever it wants to go and see where it leads me. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the uncertainties. What's around your next corner? Thank God life is full of mystery and surprises.
Indeed, one clear sign of good mental health is the ability to tolerate life's uncertainties? This is something I teach my clients. And it is easier said than done.
Listen to all my songs! They are all hinged on jealousy, insecurity, doubts, not-knowing. It's through my music that I have come to tolerate all these difficult emotions. It has been my healer. There is still some way to go! Good job too, because without suffering where would the Lullabys be? Could you imagine me singing a happy little pop tune like McFly?
The day my heart mends is the day I hang up my guitar!
So bring on the pain and suffering! I must be a masochist!
Do I unconsciously seek it out? Do we all?
Now there's a question?
In truth, I believe we do. You see, us humans go through some pretty tough times in our early years. Ok, not everyone suffers traumas and the like, but how many of us didn't get the attention we felt we needed as kids? How many of us have had embarrassing or even humiliating incidents to have to deal with? What about issues with parents/ siblings that have never been resolved? And this is my point and what Freud would call 'repetition compulsion'. WE UNCONSCIOUSLY CREATE ISSUES/PROBLEMS/SCENARIOS THAT ECHO UNRESOLVED STUFF FROM THE PAST SO THAT WE CAN NOW DEAL WITH IT. In other words, we 'create' situations and relationships that in some way mirror issues from childhood in the hope that we will now, hopefully, resolve the situation and move on. Once the lesson is learnt you can move on to the next dilemma. And believe me, there will be more! But that's how we grow as humans, by solving problems!
EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY! EMBRACE SUFFERING! EMBRACE PROBLEMS!
As The Killers would say, "Everything will be alright..."
Believe it to be so.
That's enough of my psychobabble. Hope it got ya thinking.
The next Lullabys newsletter will be out soon, so if you're not yet a fan register at http://www.thelullabys.com/ and get the latest news. We're about to launch our first single and are preparing for 2 BIG GIGS in 1 day!
Stay in touch and share your thoughts and feelings.
We're all in this together!
Lullaby Gav
Friday, 31 July 2009
Time to go public, I guess!
Hey!
Welcome to all you Lullabys fans out there!
It's a friday morning and I thought NOW is the time to start my blog.
It's gonna be filled with stuff about love, loss, hope, relationships, sex, death - all the beautiful and gloriously morbid stuff that go to make up this wonderful thing called life.
I don't need to hark on too much about the music. If you've seen our website (http://www.thelullabys.com/) you'll know what we're up to. Things are going bloody great right now. Me and Brett are fired up, motivated and focused and we're having a ball. That's what it's all about. It's no good being driven to do anything if you're not enjoying yourselves. We all need to have a dream but we must enjoy the journey and learn as much as we can along the way.
What are you learning right now, TODAY?
The album is done - at bloody last - and we're about to release a single/EP of Maybe Tonight. There'll be a video coming out soon too. My hair looks a right damn mess on it but too late now. Laugh if you want to; I don't care anymore. Maybe that's a sign of maturity - not caring what others think of me anymore. Maybe immaturity? I think we place far too much importance on how we come across to others. Guess we all wanna be liked/ approved of. Guess we all wanna be loved and know that we are loveable. That's the bottom line.
See, I knew I'd get onto that before long!
The Lullabys songs, as you know are all about love, loss and hope. And we've all been there - at least those of us who are brave enough to love in the first place. Then we get hurt and some of us never take the risk again.
Three years ago I passed Sue Ryder shop in Stowmarket (chav town - sorry guys but it's the truth - admit it!) and I saw a cheap acoustic guitar in the window. I bought it and have never looked back. I'd always been a bass man up til then, playing in various bands from 1990 to '98.
Then there was a lengthy hiatus until things started going wrong in my relationship. I needed an outlet. I still clearly remember the night when I sat in the bedroom and the chords and melody to 'Where Do We Go From Here?' just came to me. It seemed so easy to write. My girl at the time (bless her, wherever she is) was feeling it too. Things weren't right. The spark had gone. What started out as a soulmate relationship had withered away.
By 2007 it was all but over. We tried a trial 'get back together', during which time I wrote loads more stuff, namely, 'Maybe Tonight', highlighting the insecurities I felt at the time, 'Do You Still Love Me Baby?', 'A Wonderful Two Years' and 'Marooned'. I remember seeing James Blunt singing 'Goodbye My Lover' on TV and I cried my eyes out. I knew it was all over. It hurt so much because I'd put my heart and soul into it. She was 'the one'. I was living a fairytale existence. I don't believe in 'the one' anymore.
The week after the final break up (it had gone on all year, hence the soon-to-be-released albums title, 'The Long Goodbye') I walked into Oxfam bookshop in Bury St. Edmunds (non-chav town and simply 'Bury' to us locals) and right in front of me was a book entitled, 'Rebuilding When You're Relationship Ends'. It proved to be a life saver. Isn't it weird how these things happen? Synchronicity. I thus started a new journal. Writing things down proved enormously helpful. It's one thing I now encourage my clients to do. Ah yes, most of you don't know that I am a therapist. I try to keep my personal and professional lives seperate but in this blog I'm gonna attempt to merge the two together. I hate leading seperate lives! Find out more about what I do at http://www.stow-hypno.co.uk/ . Yes, I am a qualified Hypnotherapist and practice in Stowmarket (of all places). It's lovely really!
Just had a bit of a panic. That book I just mentioned has gone missing! I've just moved house and a whole box of 'relationship' books can't be traced! It had real personal stuff in it too! I know I didn't leave it behind. Where the f*** is it? You ok with swearing? Ok then, where the FUCK is it? It'll turn up somwehere.
I'm not gonna write anymore for now. People are too busy these days, wrapped up in their own lives to even wanna bother reading about someone else (unless they're dead famous - or both).
There'll be lots more to come over the next few months - or even years.
Share the journey with me.
Share your love, loss and hopes. We're all in it together!
Lullaby Gav
Welcome to all you Lullabys fans out there!
It's a friday morning and I thought NOW is the time to start my blog.
It's gonna be filled with stuff about love, loss, hope, relationships, sex, death - all the beautiful and gloriously morbid stuff that go to make up this wonderful thing called life.
I don't need to hark on too much about the music. If you've seen our website (http://www.thelullabys.com/) you'll know what we're up to. Things are going bloody great right now. Me and Brett are fired up, motivated and focused and we're having a ball. That's what it's all about. It's no good being driven to do anything if you're not enjoying yourselves. We all need to have a dream but we must enjoy the journey and learn as much as we can along the way.
What are you learning right now, TODAY?
The album is done - at bloody last - and we're about to release a single/EP of Maybe Tonight. There'll be a video coming out soon too. My hair looks a right damn mess on it but too late now. Laugh if you want to; I don't care anymore. Maybe that's a sign of maturity - not caring what others think of me anymore. Maybe immaturity? I think we place far too much importance on how we come across to others. Guess we all wanna be liked/ approved of. Guess we all wanna be loved and know that we are loveable. That's the bottom line.
See, I knew I'd get onto that before long!
The Lullabys songs, as you know are all about love, loss and hope. And we've all been there - at least those of us who are brave enough to love in the first place. Then we get hurt and some of us never take the risk again.
Three years ago I passed Sue Ryder shop in Stowmarket (chav town - sorry guys but it's the truth - admit it!) and I saw a cheap acoustic guitar in the window. I bought it and have never looked back. I'd always been a bass man up til then, playing in various bands from 1990 to '98.
Then there was a lengthy hiatus until things started going wrong in my relationship. I needed an outlet. I still clearly remember the night when I sat in the bedroom and the chords and melody to 'Where Do We Go From Here?' just came to me. It seemed so easy to write. My girl at the time (bless her, wherever she is) was feeling it too. Things weren't right. The spark had gone. What started out as a soulmate relationship had withered away.
By 2007 it was all but over. We tried a trial 'get back together', during which time I wrote loads more stuff, namely, 'Maybe Tonight', highlighting the insecurities I felt at the time, 'Do You Still Love Me Baby?', 'A Wonderful Two Years' and 'Marooned'. I remember seeing James Blunt singing 'Goodbye My Lover' on TV and I cried my eyes out. I knew it was all over. It hurt so much because I'd put my heart and soul into it. She was 'the one'. I was living a fairytale existence. I don't believe in 'the one' anymore.
The week after the final break up (it had gone on all year, hence the soon-to-be-released albums title, 'The Long Goodbye') I walked into Oxfam bookshop in Bury St. Edmunds (non-chav town and simply 'Bury' to us locals) and right in front of me was a book entitled, 'Rebuilding When You're Relationship Ends'. It proved to be a life saver. Isn't it weird how these things happen? Synchronicity. I thus started a new journal. Writing things down proved enormously helpful. It's one thing I now encourage my clients to do. Ah yes, most of you don't know that I am a therapist. I try to keep my personal and professional lives seperate but in this blog I'm gonna attempt to merge the two together. I hate leading seperate lives! Find out more about what I do at http://www.stow-hypno.co.uk/ . Yes, I am a qualified Hypnotherapist and practice in Stowmarket (of all places). It's lovely really!
Just had a bit of a panic. That book I just mentioned has gone missing! I've just moved house and a whole box of 'relationship' books can't be traced! It had real personal stuff in it too! I know I didn't leave it behind. Where the f*** is it? You ok with swearing? Ok then, where the FUCK is it? It'll turn up somwehere.
I'm not gonna write anymore for now. People are too busy these days, wrapped up in their own lives to even wanna bother reading about someone else (unless they're dead famous - or both).
There'll be lots more to come over the next few months - or even years.
Share the journey with me.
Share your love, loss and hopes. We're all in it together!
Lullaby Gav
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